


I Prayed To You, Every Night

by frecklesarechocolate



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frecklesarechocolate/pseuds/frecklesarechocolate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is in a bad situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Prayed To You, Every Night

Title: I Prayed To You, Every Night  
Author: [](http://choc-freckles.livejournal.com/profile)[**choc_freckles**](http://choc-freckles.livejournal.com/)  
Fandom: Supernatural  
Pairings: Dean/Cas  
Rating: G  
Word Count: 750  
Warnings: Spoilers up to "As Time Goes By", 8.12  
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I am making no profit form the fanfiction, other than the massive enjoyment of writing about my babies.  
Summary: Cas is in a bad situation.  


  


Dean prayed to Cas while they were in Purgatory. Every night. Those were the moments that Cas began to recognize what was happening. He was falling in love with Dean Winchester. 

Oh, he’d loved Dean for a very long time, everyone knew that. Even Crowley knew that. Probably the only person who didn’t know was Dean himself.

But listening to Dean pray to him? That’s when Cas began to fall _in love_ with Dean.

And what Dean doesn’t know is that now that they’re out, now that there’s this weird thing going on that Cas doesn’t understand, can’t explain… Cas prays to Dean.

Every night.

Most nights, it’s merely a thought. Cas will close his eyes and just think Dean’s name in his head. Dean. The syllable has more meaning and emotion associated with it than any other in Cas’s long existence.

Other nights, it’s more coherent thought. “Dean, I don’t understand what’s going on. There are things that I’m supposed to do, and I don’t know why I need to do them, and more importantly, why I am doing them. Dean, I wish I could be with you, so we could figure this out together.” 

But no matter how fervently Cas wishes for it to happen, something prevents him from going to Dean.

He knows about the bunker - the Batcave - and he feels the excitement exuding from Dean at the idea of having a home. Dean prays to him, still, telling him about how Dean’s got his own room, has a bed with something called memory foam, and Cas smiles at this. Dean prays and tells Cas that they’ve got a room set aside for him, that he can decorate it any way he wants to, can get a damn cat if he really wants one of those too.

So Cas prays back to Dean about the things he would like to see in his new room: his own bed, not that he sleeps, a collection of books to leaf his way through in his spare time, and yes, even a cat. 

Neither Cas nor Dean have had their own personal space like this, and so their prayers to each other are filled with their hopes and dreams for their spaces. Cas learns when Dean finally compiles what he calls “the most awesome music collection ever”. He hears about it when Dean talks about the fact that he can actually put his laundry away now, instead of stuffing it back in his duffel. 

Cas doesn’t have an image of the bunker in his mind’s eye yet, doesn’t really see what the rooms are like, so he can’t be as vivid in his descriptions of his room when he prays to Dean, but he can at least use some imagination. He sees a room with a small bed in the center, a Spartan desk with a lamp, and a bookcase. The bookcase is the only thing in the room that seems disorderly, although Cas will know what every item on the bookcase is; it will just be overflowing with texts, scrolls and even novels.

Cas prays to Dean about how he’d like to spend his time once the hunt for the demon tablet and … he feels like there should be something else there, that there should be an “and”, but he can’t quite place what that might be, as if there’s something blocking it, and it’s frustrating, he tells Dean each night, because he should know what that “and” is. But he can’t get at it, can’t wiggle it free, and he gets so frustrated about it that he feels like he might explode.

And he’s exploded before, so he knows what that’s like.

Mostly, though, Cas prays to Dean and tell him that he misses him. Tells Dean that he wishes he could be with Dean rather than doing… whatever it is that he’s doing right now. He tells Dean that he thinks he might understand more about family, and friendship, and love than he has ever understood in the past.

Cas makes promises to Dean as well.

“I promise you, Dean, when we see each other again, that I will return your hug, the one you gave me in Purgatory.

“I promise you, Dean, that I won’t leave you again, not ever.

“I promise you, Dean, that I will love you. That I _do_ love you. Always.”

And Cas always ends his prayers to Dean the same way: “Goodnight, Beloved. I will see you soon.”


End file.
